What irks me in Facebook and some hi-tech solutions

After being in FB for nearly 6 years,I've understood/misunderstood/used/avoided/embraced and finally adapted to the joys of online communicating with friends,family and colleagues.Without this medium,probably I wouldn't 've known what had become of my best friend from childhood or who & where my cousins are or how age catches up with everybody no matter what they eat,say or do.And not to forget,I even learn everyday something of my interest from something someone posted.Even though all that's fine there are a few pet peeves of mine which cuts into my online joy and some ways of countering that .....read on if you are interested...

WHAT IRKS ME IN FACEBOOK AND SOME HI TECH SOLUTIONS

1. If you are the 1st person to comment on a photo which gets more comments later- you are going to sorely regret your enthusiasam with the deluge of notifications that would follow (Need for 'I don't want to know what others are commenting on this'button)
2. How do I tell u I liked your likes without me having to add another comment ?? (Need for 'Like the likes' button)
3. How do I make those totally irrelevant comments & personal discussions disappear by just looking at them?(Need for 'Iris and facial expression recognition' button)
4. How do I express my thanks for your time that you took to comment on something I posted without me commenting again & taking up more of your time and your newsfeed(No 'non verbal communication' button in Facebook yet)
5. How to politely say some picture or news of mine is totally obsolete & that people can just skim thru it without saying anything so that I don't 've to say anything in return? (Timeline you are not helping the cause)
6. How do I not get tagged in a totally irrelevant,where I'm not standing in,or understanding or misunderstanding a friend's picture or post (Need for 'Blaring alarm when you tag people unnecessarily' button) - to prove a point I tagged you all :ppppp
7. How about people finish a status update instead of saying"Feeling sad".... & starting the guesswork by others asking 'Oh no what happened?''OMG are u okay???"" just spit it out or don't say it all..(Need for 'Auto fill/say it in full or it would get deleted' button or for incomplete status feed)
8. How about you not putting me on the spot by testing our friendship online by asking me to share something you did & inviting me to apps & causes you believe in (Need for'Don't u know I like you no matter what' button)
9. How to tell my online friends please only share your most relevant activity/thoughts /pictures and not every time you decide to cough,sleep or get bored(Locations and tags - you are not user friendly)
10. How to tell those FB hypocrites and stalkers who say they don't like FB but diligently follow all the newsfeed to not sign up for it altogether- who are you kidding here ????(Need for ''FB Stalker'  'FB Hypocrite' button so I don't accept their friend request in a moment of weakness ;)))
11. How to convey subtly that vacation/kids/family/friends/neighbors/pets colleagues pictures are perfectly welcome along as there are only 10 -15 pictures in it - please be mindful of the fact that human attention span is only 12 seconds!!!( Need for 'Don't u dare repeat/duplicate' button)
12. How to like only  those posts/comments/ pictures by a friend(which made me think,laugh/happy) without them feeling we've ignored them every time they post(Need for an Universal Facebook 'Feeling secure' etiquette class/button)
13. How to selectively not see the "delicious pictures of food prepared by friend/family member" in a friend's post ?(Need for "Don't rub it in" button  or "Food & restaurant pictures go invisible when I'm hungry" button)
14. How to let people know that they need to write proper sentences and not use online acronyms that I can't keep up with - the only exceptions are 'LOL','ROFL' and 'LMAO' cos I know only them.Would you like it if I came to hug you & stopped halfway cos I know you'll understand it ???Also you can message me but not 'massage me - got it???(Need for 'Say it,mean it and spell it correctly' button)
15. Why would you tell me what my friend or acquaintance liked or commented on someone else's profile -(FB you are such a gossip monger - Need for 'I don't care what others do on FB unless I want to care' button)!!!

And also finally getting more likes and comments is not indicative of a person's popularity- it just means that you know enough people who are also finding online relationship much less taxing than the ones in the real world & find it easier to communicate from behind a gadget & keep it going.You see - I don't 've to invite,be invited,dress up, cook or clean - i can just bombard you - oops sorry -just share my thoughts,feelings & pictures & keep u in the loop :)))

Mark Zuckerberg are you listening ?..