10 WAYS LEARNING SALSA IS CHANGING ME

I’ve always been fascinated with learning about other cultures- two years ago when  Ricky Martin’s La Mordita song was a constant on my playlist, I was being influenced by everything Latin American- including binge watching Narcos, Jane the Virgin, picking up a few Spanish words, and falling in love with Mexican food, their music, dance and carefree attitude. So it was a natural decision when I wanted to work on my health and do something fun whilst at it- I decided to enrol for Salsa classes. Tried persuading my hubby to join the same with no avail and I decided to do it alone.

It’s been almost a year since I have been learning Salsa and it’s one of the best life changing decisions I made. Tell you  why

          1.   STEPPING OUT OF MY COMFORT ZONE

I’m so at ease

• talking to 1000’s of strangers be it at workshops/support groups I facilitate or presenting at International conferences
• dancing soloto Bollywood music in bathroom/living room /dancing with friends – no problem with any of that. But holding another guy’s (who’s not my spouse) hands and move in sync to music – BIG PROBLEM.I remember the 1st few weeks of my intro course to Salsa- whilst the instructors were on about the ‘frame’ we had to maintain- I had to work on not shaking/trembling & overcoming the feeling of wanting to run out of the room to a safe space. Add wearing pointed heels which I hated and still do(if you know me- I chose comfort over beauty every time & believe that sneakers, sandals & flip flops are mankind's best inventions) – it was another first in my life to buy heels not just to walk but trying to dance ‘gracefully’(insert rolling eyes emoticon here!!)- SO MORE BIG PROBLEMS!!! Talk about stepping out of one’s comfort zone- this was more like free falling into an abyss!

          2.   SELF CARE

For me being in the job that I’m in, and the person that I’m -I strive to be empathetic to all the stress that my clients/friends/family are facing-it takes a lot out of me emotionally and physically – I knew that I needed a space where I could be just myself- where I’m not a social worker,mental health professional,wife, sister or mother – just somebody who is trying to learn something new even though it scares the s#@*t out of her!! It’s about self care. After a year of being on this journey, it’s now my stress buster- I make time for salsa-it’s one of my self-care routines where I get to move(gracefully or not) to soulful music and in the company of adults who want nothing else from than me than to have a good time! And I have made some great friends for life there which is an added bonus given that our lifestyles weren’t conducive for socializing opportunities.

          3. INCLUSIVITY

The first thing that always makes a good first impression on me be it people, organizations or community is how ‘inclusive’ or ‘multicultural’ they are. I’m so impressed with the diverse group from all races and ethnicity that come to our dance studio. I’m also impressed with the sense of community the dance studio Soul2Sole (https://soul2sole.ca/) fosters by having free inclusive events open to the community members throughout the summer months at the Streetsville community square. If you are passing by or accidentally see me waddling like a duck in any promotional picture or video- just ignore that and remember that I was having a great time whilst waddling and felt awesome belonging to this dance community.😊😊😊

           4. LETTING GO OF STEREOTYPES 

I grew up in a culture where women’s independence, passion, sexuality, empowerment  were not high up (read: not valued) on the pecking order. So as a married female- going and dancing with another male (who is not my spouse) is considered nothing less of sacrilege. The first question everyone (including white/Asian folks) ask when they know I have taken up Salsa lessons is “So is your spouse/must be going with you?”- believe me I really tried – he wanted nothing that involved moving the feet/hands and said he’s more content to watch!! I think it’s been a very good decision not to do it as a couple cos we are avoiding so many potential fights that could have happened had we been learning it together.😊 I always enjoy learning a new skill-my relationship status shouldn’t/doesn’t affect what I learn. Just like sports or any other team activity-it’s just another fun activity- pursuing which doesn’t make me any less married/loyal to my spouse- in fact it strengthens our bond cos we give each other the space to pursue our own passions.

          5.   NOT TO OVERTHINK

Taking Salsa was trying to face one of the biggest fears I have – partner dancing in public. Letting go of the fear that I may be making a fool of myself dancing like a duck, worrying about what others/society will think is something I wanted to work on. I always believe facing one’s fears means doing something about it and not reinforce it by making it my life’s narrative. I know that everyone I’m dancing with, has their own struggles/baggage, their journey how they got there-just like I’m not going to judge them- I don’t have to worry or over think this. It is just 3-4 minutes where you try to have a mutual connection with another adult and hopefully both parties come out of it happy. It’s just another bucket filling activity(http://thisaintoveryet.blogspot.com/2017/11/are-you-filling-or-dipping.html)  if you do it right. Moreover research states that social  dancing is helpful  in  reducing risk of dementia and I need no further persuasion to take the plunge.

 

     6. UNLEARN LEARNT BEHAVIOUR

There’s a rhythm, sync and feel for everything – be it different kinds of music, food and culture. The same goes for dancing too. I’ve trained in Indian classical music, but love singing movie soundtracks, have sang/danced at college competitions for Bollywood music. I like to think that I have feel for the music, rhythm and can move to the beats I hear. But years of being conditioned to a certain rhythm and beat in your head – learning the different 8 count beat in Salsa required for me to unlearn all of it. I’m also unlearning hunching, bad postures of many years.It’s as if our brain likes to go back to the same stories, same patterns, same narratives and beats rather than take another new route!! I had to unlearn moving my feet and hands from Bollywood style to smaller, contained crisp moves for Salsa- boy was it tough and still is. But strangely I’m unlearning the learnt whilst learning anew and I find that even when I’m at the gym listening to any peppy music, my feet start moving in small Salsa steps..some progress indeed!!

 

     7. PERSEVERANCE

As with everything new and dealing with changes – oodles of patience are needed to get to where one wants to. And learning a new skill – that too a dance form requires truck loads of perseverance. I’m learning that it doesn’t hurt to have some patience on standby as well particularly when you are learning complex moves cos I may finally get a move after the 100th time I have practised it!!! It’s sometimes as if my body won’t understand/accept what my brain wants it to do!!!So I’m learning to hang in there tight no matter how many times I stumble (literally wearing that bl&#%y heels)!

 

8.   DEALING WITH FAILURE

All my life I have embraced failures knowing that the more hard work, determination, passion I put into something – I know it would eventually lead to success. Learning Salsa, moving through different levels of Salsa to succeed has turned the definition of success on its head for myself. After failing a couple of times at a level – I was mystified cos practising more in order to clear that level only backfired. If you know me- you would know that I put my heart and soul into everything I do- so failing after repeatedly giving it all I had was beyond my understanding. I’m a finisher- I always complete what I start- so giving up wasn’t an option. But self doubt in the form of “What if I don’t have an instinct for this dance form?” or “I need to be realistic about my abilities” or “I should give up rather than waste everybody’s time” was also a constant commercial going on in my brain. It was thanks to discussion with some dear friends and the director of the dance studio- I realized that every great dancer that I admired at the studio had been where I was at and that I should persist and not give up and that they would be there to support me in this journey. I’m so glad they talked me out of it. I’m in Level 4 now and not in the least worried about whether I’d pass/fail, whether I’d get to a certain level because to me now the success is all about enjoying the journey, learning a move well and feeling accomplished with such cheap thrills.

 

9.   IMPORTANCE OF NON VERBAL COMMUNICATION

The great beauty about partner dancing is you are talking without using words. There is an art to this- comprehending without verbalizing, communicating mutual respect and empathy of where each one needs to go or move- all without saying a word. There’s also trust building knowing that my partner is not going to let go of me, push me into a wall/others and I need to as a ‘follower’ understand exactly what they are expecting of me all with just the lead’s flick of the wrist, pressure of the hands, tap on the shoulder. Communication as a tool to enrich relationships is the basis of my livelihood but dancing with a total stranger who I know nothing about and yet to understand their body language and move with them is very fascinating, intriguing and totally maddening at times. It’s funny how words can become obsolete when you can do so much with gestures!!

 

10. OPEN TO NEW EXPERIENCES

Wanting to try something new, being open to new experiences-I signed up for Salsa- which has led me to learn about another dance form Bachata.I tell you I have fallen hook, line and sinker for this one as the movements closely resemble Bollywood ‘jhatkas’ and 'thumkas'. Being open to all these- is one of the journeys of self discovery that I’m currently on-learning to accept myself, my body and accept my feminity without being embarrassed about it. Even when I suffered a personal health crisis recently, one of the things I was counting down was to getting back on my feet and dancing again. Having a passion for dancing gives me purpose. It’s on my bucket list to dance someday in public facing my fear- so watch this space/close your eyes 😊😊😊!