What is Happiness for me ?

People often use this word - Happiness in all kinds of contexts..to me -the means or the ways to be happy is more important than the end...at the end of each day I rate it a happy day when I start a creative process(today it is my writing,the last few days it was learning/mastery of singing my favorite song,on other days it is experimenting a new recipe,designing a pencil case for my daughter,prior to that setting up our house (BTW it's our the 11th move in 13 years) and I take it to its completion.

Sometimes it's just the chance to sit,relax and do nothing but admire nature - a splendid sunset,of waves rising and falling in the beach,the rustle of dry leaves,the smell of rain(just recently I learnt that it was a type of bacteria that caused it quashing my romantic heart),a full moon adorning the night sky...(lucky for my hubby who doesn't 've to spend much to make me happy!)
On other days its a chat,a message,a hearty conversation or catching up with a long lost friend or family member whom we leave behind in our hectic journey called life..and on another day it was the nice dinner my husband made when I was sick & lying and reading a book after a long time...

Happiness is also my squeals of excitement and victory dance seeing my 2.5 year old give up his precious milk bottles for cups,his nappies for the potty,it is also pride when my daughter comes up with a board game(which she devised,colored and made herself)...at times it is just looking at my niece's baby's innocent pictures of yawning,sleeping,smiling...oh there's lots...

Have you seen the meaning of being happy in kid's dictionaries ? - it doesn't take much at all - playing in the sand,splashing water,running wildly in an open space,getting paint on their face,feet and hands,going high on the swing and just seeing and playing with other kids...it's adults who mistakenly tend to pair happiness with goals,expectations,end results and numbers and often get the equations wrong!
There might be days when I don't get even one event checked from all the above but I keep these lists in my mind (& now I've written them down too) - they do help me to tide over those mental  cobwebs and sad droughts!

So what if you missed the morning train(because you slept a bit late because of the wonderful movie you watched late into the night),the house looked a bit like a dump yard(after all those those creative pursuits),forgot to turn off the hose pipe(because I was carried away with the little tomato plants that sprouted),the neighbors might 've gone a bit deaf(due to my serial killing of the song I was practicing),the kids are looking a bit messy & needing attention(because I'm trying  to complete this post :)..- all that matters is you have fun with whatever you set out to do and  just enjoy the ride...:)

Remember Life's not a checklist and Happiness is not a Destination - its the process and not the goal :)

What irks me in Facebook and some hi-tech solutions

After being in FB for nearly 6 years,I've understood/misunderstood/used/avoided/embraced and finally adapted to the joys of online communicating with friends,family and colleagues.Without this medium,probably I wouldn't 've known what had become of my best friend from childhood or who & where my cousins are or how age catches up with everybody no matter what they eat,say or do.And not to forget,I even learn everyday something of my interest from something someone posted.Even though all that's fine there are a few pet peeves of mine which cuts into my online joy and some ways of countering that .....read on if you are interested...

WHAT IRKS ME IN FACEBOOK AND SOME HI TECH SOLUTIONS

1. If you are the 1st person to comment on a photo which gets more comments later- you are going to sorely regret your enthusiasam with the deluge of notifications that would follow (Need for 'I don't want to know what others are commenting on this'button)
2. How do I tell u I liked your likes without me having to add another comment ?? (Need for 'Like the likes' button)
3. How do I make those totally irrelevant comments & personal discussions disappear by just looking at them?(Need for 'Iris and facial expression recognition' button)
4. How do I express my thanks for your time that you took to comment on something I posted without me commenting again & taking up more of your time and your newsfeed(No 'non verbal communication' button in Facebook yet)
5. How to politely say some picture or news of mine is totally obsolete & that people can just skim thru it without saying anything so that I don't 've to say anything in return? (Timeline you are not helping the cause)
6. How do I not get tagged in a totally irrelevant,where I'm not standing in,or understanding or misunderstanding a friend's picture or post (Need for 'Blaring alarm when you tag people unnecessarily' button) - to prove a point I tagged you all :ppppp
7. How about people finish a status update instead of saying"Feeling sad".... & starting the guesswork by others asking 'Oh no what happened?''OMG are u okay???"" just spit it out or don't say it all..(Need for 'Auto fill/say it in full or it would get deleted' button or for incomplete status feed)
8. How about you not putting me on the spot by testing our friendship online by asking me to share something you did & inviting me to apps & causes you believe in (Need for'Don't u know I like you no matter what' button)
9. How to tell my online friends please only share your most relevant activity/thoughts /pictures and not every time you decide to cough,sleep or get bored(Locations and tags - you are not user friendly)
10. How to tell those FB hypocrites and stalkers who say they don't like FB but diligently follow all the newsfeed to not sign up for it altogether- who are you kidding here ????(Need for ''FB Stalker'  'FB Hypocrite' button so I don't accept their friend request in a moment of weakness ;)))
11. How to convey subtly that vacation/kids/family/friends/neighbors/pets colleagues pictures are perfectly welcome along as there are only 10 -15 pictures in it - please be mindful of the fact that human attention span is only 12 seconds!!!( Need for 'Don't u dare repeat/duplicate' button)
12. How to like only  those posts/comments/ pictures by a friend(which made me think,laugh/happy) without them feeling we've ignored them every time they post(Need for an Universal Facebook 'Feeling secure' etiquette class/button)
13. How to selectively not see the "delicious pictures of food prepared by friend/family member" in a friend's post ?(Need for "Don't rub it in" button  or "Food & restaurant pictures go invisible when I'm hungry" button)
14. How to let people know that they need to write proper sentences and not use online acronyms that I can't keep up with - the only exceptions are 'LOL','ROFL' and 'LMAO' cos I know only them.Would you like it if I came to hug you & stopped halfway cos I know you'll understand it ???Also you can message me but not 'massage me - got it???(Need for 'Say it,mean it and spell it correctly' button)
15. Why would you tell me what my friend or acquaintance liked or commented on someone else's profile -(FB you are such a gossip monger - Need for 'I don't care what others do on FB unless I want to care' button)!!!

And also finally getting more likes and comments is not indicative of a person's popularity- it just means that you know enough people who are also finding online relationship much less taxing than the ones in the real world & find it easier to communicate from behind a gadget & keep it going.You see - I don't 've to invite,be invited,dress up, cook or clean - i can just bombard you - oops sorry -just share my thoughts,feelings & pictures & keep u in the loop :)))

Mark Zuckerberg are you listening ?..

Life is like a Journey...

Do you speculate about this tremendous journey called Life,or the people who make up the journey?
I often wonder how is it that certain predestined events happen in everyone's life?
Who decides where we are born,who we associate with,who we make life long friendships with?
Is it our choice?Fate/destiny?or plain Luck..or an inexplicable interplay of all of these???

I always kind of believe that there's some road map somewhere(Don't ask me where or how)..We take it further by the choices we make consciously...We meet people,form bonds some short,some for eternity and move on.We influence others and in turn let others influence us.We carry forward memories of a joke shared,wonderful time spent together or of a few shared tears or sometimes even a bitter separation.

I've been fortunate to have had met so many people,formed relationships - some leading to lasting friendships irrespective of where they come from,what their roots are,their religious affiliations are or which parts of the globe they inherit.
I've learnt many a thing from my friends and cherish what I share with them.There are some very close friends with whom I don't 've the pressure of having to continuously keeping them"in the know" and still can go on ahead with my life.And when our paths cross again,I know that I can just pick up the threads and start of from where I left off.

With some,I like the journey through a telephone conversation and with some it is the written words that keeps the relationship going..Never know if the bond would still be the same if it was carried out live..

Then there are some where I've trusted,been let down but in hindsight realized that they were not worth keeping and hence better off without the heavy baggage imposed by such relationships.Closely coming second of the ones that I detest are those who under the guise of friends stab you from behind.Shakespeare put it succinctly in the words of Caesar when he said 'Et tu Brutus" of the people who you think are close but let u down so badly that there's no going back to that one in a long long time!!!!!!
Then there are others with whom clarification is forever necessary to keep the relationship going or else it is soon going to be doomed in misunderstandings and hurt feelings any time...It takes a lot of emotional strength to maintain these high maintenance relationships and god aren't they emotionally exhausting????
And then lastly there are those elite,close friends who are very few in number but I find the most comforting..I wonder,what would happen without these people in my life.They remind me of the quote-'Friends are the relatives you never had" ..so true..these friends I know,I can rely upon any time of the day or night.I know they'll carry my secrets to the grave....I can ask for help and know beforehand that they would help and who know that I'd bend backwards to do the same for them if the need arises...I like such relationships where I can be myself,speak what's on my mind without being judged...

We all lose some relationships-be it family members,friends,relatives.. we lose them in death, to distance and over time. But even though they may be lost, hope is not. The key is to keep them in your heart, and when the time is right, you can pick up the relationship right where you left off. Even the lost find their way home when you leave the" light on" 


Be civil to everyone in the least if not friendly-who knows the next person you meet might become your best friend in life.

I believe in this little poem which has been a major influence throughout my life

LIFE'S JOURNEY

Life is like a journey on a train
With two fellow travellers at each window pane
I may sit beside you all the journey thro'
Or I might sit elsewhere never knowing you.

But if Fate should mark me to sit by your side,
Lets be pleasant travellers,
Tis so short a ride!!!!

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