10 BENEFITS TO HAVING KIDS

Given the way our lives are fast forwarding in this fast digital age at break neck speed - many young couples are rethinking having kids or postponing having them- I have some thoughts for you to mull over!!

In spite of what everyone warns you about that your life is complete (or finished) when you have kids - it’s not all that bad. Even though there might be some(or several) occasions that even if for  a few hours you might’ve (atleast I have many times)felt like pawning them off to your neighbors or others - for the most part-  it is an enlightening experience about who you are as a person,your fears,your anxieties,your baggage and how you lead them to be a better version of yourselves. 

Having a kid or two means you are declaring to the world that you are not completely invested in yourselves and that you are able to put the needs of another person who is smaller,younger and more vulnerable than yourself above that of your own.

Really there are real advantages to having kids-I 'kid' you not ;)

The following are insights culled from my own experience as a parent - some of which might be eye openers for you and make you think about parenting in a new light altogether(eye roll!!)

1. Kids are good couriers- they will fetch you stuff that you have kept in the top floors or other rooms that you are too lazy to get it yourselves
2. Kids are good detectives - they know the junk that you ‘ve bought and remember where exactly you stored(read:hidden) them
3. Kids are  good substitute for alarms- they would know exactly how and when to wake you on the weekend when you are trying to sleep for a little longer.A caveat -their alarm capabilities seem to decline,diminish or disappear altogether during weekdays and it's not easy waking up a child to get ready for school!!
4. Having 2 kids instead of 1 gives you the opportunity to play multiple roles of Judge,match referee,bouncer and dispenser of justice more often than you like!
5. Having kids teaches you to hone your multitasking skills and take it to a different level altogether like for instance when making phone calls and cooking and keeping an eye on the fight that is brewing between your kids before it gets bloody or violent.
6. Having kids elevates your negotiating and bargaining skills to an all time high cos they will not take ‘No’ for an answer that easily.
7. Having kids makes you wary of the words ‘WHY’ CAN’T I?’ cos of the number of times that word would crop up in your entire span of parenting career.So that in turn would lead to you improve your conversation skills by anticipating ‘trap questions’ and be prepared ahead of time with comebacks!
8. Having kids creates in you a new found respect for your parents who have done it so many more times than yourselves(in my case 7 cos my parents had 7 of us!!! -I often wonder how they stayed married or none of us ended up in prison or an asylum)
9. Kids make you realize that size is of no consequence and in fact size doesn’t matter at all when it comes to getting things accomplished(?their way).They have inbuilt radars for detecting vulnerabilities and moments of weaknesses in parents or other adults.
10. Kids are good witnesses for fights that you have with your spouse-they come in handy during the trial and prosecution!

I hope that this list is fast tracking you on your way to making babies sooner than later !!! LOL!

What is Happiness for me ?

People often use this word - Happiness in all kinds of contexts..to me -the means or the ways to be happy is more important than the end...at the end of each day I rate it a happy day when I start a creative process(today it is my writing,the last few days it was learning/mastery of singing my favorite song,on other days it is experimenting a new recipe,designing a pencil case for my daughter,prior to that setting up our house (BTW it's our the 11th move in 13 years) and I take it to its completion.

Sometimes it's just the chance to sit,relax and do nothing but admire nature - a splendid sunset,of waves rising and falling in the beach,the rustle of dry leaves,the smell of rain(just recently I learnt that it was a type of bacteria that caused it quashing my romantic heart),a full moon adorning the night sky...(lucky for my hubby who doesn't 've to spend much to make me happy!)
On other days its a chat,a message,a hearty conversation or catching up with a long lost friend or family member whom we leave behind in our hectic journey called life..and on another day it was the nice dinner my husband made when I was sick & lying and reading a book after a long time...

Happiness is also my squeals of excitement and victory dance seeing my 2.5 year old give up his precious milk bottles for cups,his nappies for the potty,it is also pride when my daughter comes up with a board game(which she devised,colored and made herself)...at times it is just looking at my niece's baby's innocent pictures of yawning,sleeping,smiling...oh there's lots...

Have you seen the meaning of being happy in kid's dictionaries ? - it doesn't take much at all - playing in the sand,splashing water,running wildly in an open space,getting paint on their face,feet and hands,going high on the swing and just seeing and playing with other kids...it's adults who mistakenly tend to pair happiness with goals,expectations,end results and numbers and often get the equations wrong!
There might be days when I don't get even one event checked from all the above but I keep these lists in my mind (& now I've written them down too) - they do help me to tide over those mental  cobwebs and sad droughts!

So what if you missed the morning train(because you slept a bit late because of the wonderful movie you watched late into the night),the house looked a bit like a dump yard(after all those those creative pursuits),forgot to turn off the hose pipe(because I was carried away with the little tomato plants that sprouted),the neighbors might 've gone a bit deaf(due to my serial killing of the song I was practicing),the kids are looking a bit messy & needing attention(because I'm trying  to complete this post :)..- all that matters is you have fun with whatever you set out to do and  just enjoy the ride...:)

Remember Life's not a checklist and Happiness is not a Destination - its the process and not the goal :)