Can I quit...being a parent for a day ??

I'm not asking much..just one day off from an unrelenting schedule of being  a parent - of not being responsible for two young lives,not being the referee between two warring kids,not being the unpaid driver picking/dropping the kids to and from school,after school,beyond school/outer space activities..a break from having to get up early in the morning,trying to pack up several boxes of food for the kids/adults,from not having to look for matching socks,clothes or underwear from all over the place,of trying to get them to cram some edible humanly food before they leave,from not worrying about the class assignments they need to do or milestones they need to reach,or getting them to sleep at earthly hours.In essence I'm asking for not being a teacher/detective/chef/ cleaner/ chauffeur/counselor or not being a Parent(all rolled into one) just for a day!!

In this regard,I'd like to point put that BC(Before Christ)& AD(After Death/anno domini) are incorrect for timelines.Left to me I would devise dating system or timelines like this

BC or AC...Life - Before Children(BC) and After Children(AC)

I think you may want to laugh,cry or nod your head but let me tell you how it all goes ...
You know I can be sure that in the short time I'm not around and if there's no sound or sign of my little one even for a few seconds -one or more of the following has happened:

1. He has taken out the ironing spray and sprayed all the furniture,books and clothes with them
2. He has taken my handbag from the top of the table,unzipped it,gotten the car key out,stepped out into the backyard,reached the garage and turned on the car!!
3. He has taken the dustbin,climbed on it,reached for the fruit and butter knife on the counter top and tried to cut them by himself
4. He has opened the tap in the kitchen (by climbing on the chair in the kitchen nook) and tried to wash the vessels all by himself spraying the entire kitchen in this process
5. He has taken his sister's tubs of different colors of glitter from her craft box and tried to be helpful by mixing them all together - on the floor !!!
6. He has taken the stamp and stamped all his blue car designs on the freshly painted wall :(
7. He has pulled out the leaves from the mint plant and watered the tomato plant to death !!
8. He has emptied/thrown all the cheerios on the floor and made interesting designs out of them
9. He has mastered the art of unrolling the toilet rolls in the short time he goes to the toilet for a pee..
10. He has reached for the toolbox,gotten out the screwdriver,the batteries and tried to 'fick'(fix as he says) his Thomas train..
11. He has opened a bottle of water and poured it all on the new pro back support mattress(making the mattress look like it needs some support right now!)

As you can see, I have in my son the makings of a launderer,driver,acrobat,chef,painter,graffiti artist, plumber,gardener and electrician all rolled into one.From the moment he's awake and till he falls into bed exhausted - I do think that I'm in the midst of an ongoing natural calamity -he's like a mini tornado,2.5 years old,a little over 3 feet tall,and in constant motion and a bundle of energy and unending activity...As a professional I know that he is perfectly normal,his activity levels,his natural curiosity are a perfect accompaniment to his growing brain..as a parent -well I need to specialize in Buddhism or Zen meditation - so I can calmly smile and understand these are the rewards of parenting - the good,the bad and the ugly !!

Not to be outdone in creativity,zeal or action,my 8 year old daughter chips in with her talent too...there's this pile of freshly laundered clothes on the floor which she tells me are all the costumes that were part of her dress up and dance routines when she changed from Cinderella to witch and into Cleopatra(BTW she ropes in her little brother to be Prince Charming with his set of costumes & accessories too!!).There's food crumbs, inside,outside,in the middle of the sofa,orange peels from ages ago under the bed(where she had decided to hide from her little brother to read and eat),cardboard boxes that she has painted and turned into hideouts or vehicles and tents,different colored papers cut out and painted with secret codes and games that she has devised to play with her friends,strange looking colored fruit concoction which she made(inspired by a recipe she read in a magazine) inside the freezer..scraps of notes everywhere that she has written to friends and family including notes to the fairies and painted her face and body(sometimes her brother's too) like they were part of the Avatar movie cast!!   

If counting to ten,taking deep breaths doesn't work,I try cleaning the house(like a woman possessed) which strangely calms me down  or write a blog(like I'm doing now) or even repeat the phrase"This too will pass on" to myself. At times I can adoringly look at their pictures when they were inside my tummy(was life much better then? -I'm not sure),or them smiling/talking innocently in their sleep after they came outside,or watch their dance videos,read my daughter's 'I love you' notes and handmade cards,or even recollect fondly the unconditional hugs and kisses I get.I know I must and I do cherish all these memories - the hysterical,the ominous,the funny, the scary and the heart warming ones because soon they would grow up and might not be looking out for Momma when they get hurt(right now they believe I'm Superwoman and I can kiss it all better)..

So may be I might not get my breaks,my leave applications from being a parent might not get granted,my requests for abstaining from parental duty are null and void and I will continue to rant,ventilate,would want to fast forward the parenting thing as this job gets interesting and challenging by the day- but I wouldn't trade being a parent for any job in the world .And I promise I would try my damnedest as I've to constantly 'up' my game to stay on par(if not on top) of this parenting puzzle and make the pieces fit.

A forgotten memory

Have been trying put into text the myriad of emotions that go through my mind when I think of my mom.My mother as anyone who had known her in her past would tell that she has been a role model,our pillar of strength,the embodiment of many virtues that I had tried to shape my life on.I grew up thinking how did she have the mental strength to cope with all the adversity and life's challenges that were thrown at her right from the beginning.
Losing her own mother when she was hardly 7,robbed of her childhood and thrust with adult like responsibilities right from when she was young has molded her probably into a tough one.I grew up in a family where all the elders where were quite level headed and rational and logical...sometimes so logical that I could not afford the luxury of tantrums or childish behavior  My mom would always chide me for any truant behavior telling me that she'd rather that I went to school bravely and faced that test and scored zilch than sit at home with a non existent ailment and not face it at all.Here was a woman who has only studied up to the eighth standard,her ambitions for higher education cut short due to family responsibilities.All her life she has made many sacrifices just to ensure that our education did not suffer on any account.
Tragedy after tragedy,setbacks(financial,medical,personal) one after other would never dampen her optimism.She's always made us believe that we have it in us to cope no matter what and that this will too pass on...
She had many a thing that she has passed onto us-like for instance helping others without any anticipation of rewards...helping another human being unconditionally for the simple reason that she "could" which was the reward in itself..she used to go and visit this center for disabled people,sit with them and spend her free time with the residents..this was one of the main reasons why I turned to social work probably..she was also generous with her money and one of the lessons I learnt from her was that how much ever you try to hug money..it will never hug you back...she believed that the art lies in the giving and that good things will automatically come your way..

We always used to wonder how my mom with so little formal education knew how to survive,knew what resilience is and that she should just go on without quitting and had so many successful relationships with family and friends alike....her mental strength,physical energy and boundless enthusiasm for any new challenge has been a major influence on my own outlook toward life and problems in general....

Why I keep referring to all about my mom in the past tense is coz nearly a decade ago,my mom has been diagnosed as suffering from Alzheimer's disease..this is a dreadful disease where one's brain cells die quickly and there are significant problems with memory..a kind of progressive unlearning all of the skills,languages sets in and the person slowly reverts to a stage of a second childhood.Not the childhood we associate with tiny tots,they are not tinged with carefree happy moments....but a cursed one where one is in an adult body but all the actions are child like and no adult wants to "kiss and make up" for the childish acts/slip ups that occur.

Their brain is crowded with information which they can't link and retain long enough to connect the dots....i wished she had anything else except this..cos in this illness it robs the person of their personality leaving a stranger in its wake....

My mother is into the 12th year of her dreadful illness-she's turned 77-physically she's fitter than people half her age but mentally she's like my 2.5 year old son if not worse..at a loss in understanding where she is,who she is,who her family or friends are..she's just a shadow of her former self...no more the person we knew her to be whilst growing up

I'm living in the other side of the continent and the only tangible memories of her are what we carry in our mind..cos her brain does not afford her the luxury of clinging onto memories..
I'm unable to carry a normal conversation with her anymore without she asking me for the nth time who I'm or where I'm..the same questions will play out itself as in a loop and each time I put the phone down,I feel I'm losing her a little more...I wonder where my mom is-why is that I have a mother and yet I don't at the same time????

Research shows that dementia is hereditary-my grandfather had it,my mom has it and I think may be I'm already genetically loaded for this..but hey at least I've started to write whatever i remember now..who knows they may come in handy for me to reminisce when I might lose my marbles some day..It has been shown that keeping your brain active with memory games,chess,learning a new language,doing Sudoku's and crossword goes a long way in keeping the Alzheimer's demons away....so,go on,next time no one can blame you when you are deep into your sudoku or crossword !!!!